MOOP!

So right. Just read Emily's description of her year. I could never post something like that, I just don't open that much.

But I'll try.

First part of the year. School, fun, woo. I'm a cappie this year, huh? Well, thats good. Free plays, free food, getting to hang with friends-it's all good.

Finnians Rainbow. A big community musical, this'll be a lot of fun. I just can't wait for it, it'll be totally cool! I haven't teched all summer, and I'm just aching to be backstage once more.

Oh.

Damm.

Too many techies. Can't take me, can't help, a slap in the face, even though it's justified. I WILL come back, I'll always come back. The newbies wouldn't, and we really do need them. I was just...unnessecary.

Continue the year, weekend of Finnians go everywhere do everything, plays each night, total rockingness. Hanging with Joe, and the howard techies, hanging with Leah, my beloved Leah, my Wolf, and Mel of course. Then the Crusin through your teens lock in. Hanging with Veronica and Katie, and forget them it's a KAWA, and dear god's I love her so.

How funny, that all my wives spare two are girl scouts.

A blur, through s=September, October, November. Halloween, Thanksgiving, it all happened somewhere along the way. Tree Nymph, an impromptu costume, and the most awesome one I've ever created.

I'm still upset you weren't Charolette. But I can't oppose your feelings, I understand.

Next year.

Thanksgiving: without dad. He had work, buisness, just couldn't come. Everyone else made it, but things happened, and we went up along, just the four of us. Mom and the kids, on a grand adventure to connecticut.

The dinosaur puppet. Devine.

I love that place. I miss it when I'm not there, because it's a marvolous place to be.

A blur through christmas. And swapping addresses, one of the most important reaching out bits I've ever done. a package. Opened on Christmas day.

I cried, you know. I don't know if I ever told you, but I did. I'm a git, I know, but It's nice to feel loved. And you pulled it off spectacularly.

Christmas: the 25th. New Years: the 31st. Same day as Caitlins funeral. I found out the 30th? Mica told me.

And it hurt. More then anything else has ever hurt, it Hurt. Pull on black, go to the church. Ashleigh and Bethany, and Leah. Hugs and love. And pain. But shared pain, which hurts less, and ebbs faster.

You didn't deserve to die. Never a frown, never a bad word, sweet and insanely cheerful.

And full of love.

It's so right that the church was filled. So many people came to say goodbye, and I hope you know how much you're missed.

We will cause more havoc then we know what to do with at camp. In your name, and under your fathers supervision. I love you CD.

And then new years. Kick. Ass.

Henson themed. So much awesomeness, so much fun. Too easy to forget. And too much fun to not lighten up.

And much better calling in the year then last year. Always a good thing.

And then...After Juliet! Heart and soul, throw it all in! It's time to get ready for the Cappies!

But first...a few things to note.

The harsher, larger, longer. Boiled down: Drama Sucks. But we all knew that.

The second. So much more complicated to explain.

Phantom of the Opera. What a beautiful thing. Grand music, grand sets, grand corsets.

And of course...watching it with the drama crowd.

And driving home.

I'll swear up down and sideways that thats where I met you. In passing, sure. But this was a conversation, amusement.

Heh, Momo. I don't really call you that anymore, do I? Oh well.

Times change. Such a pity.

And then...the play itself.

Backstage, keeping actors quiet, keeping track of things, dealing with the downtime.

Oh how to deal with so much downtime, nothing to do, just hanging out backstage.

Huh.

And sigh.

Dwell on the past, now THATS fun. Terrible habit, I really ought to break away from it. Break out of the good memories carefully soured, and create some new ones.

And then

My fault.

All
My
Fucking
Fault.

No internet. No Janny, no D_D. No sluggy.net, no webcomics, no livejournal.

No Kat.

Save for the letters. Never frequent enough. Dammit.

But they were there. And letters are wonderful.

Slowly get up, stagger up, try harder, try, dammit!

And 7 Brides for 7 Brothers.

Auditions.

Walking home.

No.

My walls. they do not come down. What is behind them is not for the rest of you to see.

7 Brides. Dancing. With Chris, with KT, with Dana, with anyone who'll dance back. Devine.

Being needed, being helpful. Finally. A production where I can WORK and not just twiddle my thumbs.

So thats over. Party some, schools almost done. Math tutoring, oh well, thats a givin. Pre-calc again next year? Inevitable.

I'm doomed.

But even in the bottom of my pit, there is sunshine. Gabe brings it to me. Alis helps him sometimes, she's not as good as growing it. She prefers to keep me off the bottom of the bit, where SHE lies, keep me from being pinched, pulled, bit by HER words and claws.

Alis is a good woman.

And it was not her fault I lost MOOP!.

It was his fault. Kyu, for all I love you, that BASTARD living in your brain is not welcome, never welcome anywhere NEAR my planet again. Ever.

But MOOP!'s better. Or, it's healing at least.

Depending. Who knows what she's doing with it.

I'm in a fanfic.

And I can't steer.

Camporee. And...dare I say it. Prom. Camporee-prom, what fun.

Proof we are friends. More fun then anything. Ever.

And I rule. An attention whore? Of course. I revel in the spotlight. Maybe thats why I so often find myself playing the fool.

I love you Veronica.

And here we go. Last few days, and damm. The seniors leave.

Mohr-Paul, Sonsashi, Myket, and of course Jonny!!!!!. Missy and Chantal. Others? Sure...but I can't figure out who. The names blur.

Too many impacts this year. Too much of a rollar coaster, and I could do with out all the learning expiriences.

Well.

Maybe one exception.

But only because I love you dear.

After all. You do give the best scritches. And as for the other bits? Happy graduation. Good luck.

And there we go.
So here we are.

Schools out.

Day camp starts on Monday.

Origins starts on Wednesday.

I'm
Not.
Going.

Tears come, unbidden. Fuck it, I'm not supposed to care about it this way. It's a convention. that is all. People get together and I'm not going to be one of them this year. There is always next year, and the years after that.

But this year, at least.

I'm not going home.

I'm back online-in a cursory sort of way at least. Trying to catch up, Lj's, webcomics.

Webcomics.

And there you go. The year in a nutshell.

A cursory glance, or so it seems. But thats all the walls will let me say.

Or is it?

Some things are too personal to put into writing. Damm the demons that made me have to learn this one the hard way.

I didn't cry. Not until you were gone.

*slaps*

Thank you. How odd, Alis comes, can't scratch, can't bite. have to be good to myself, can't hurt.

And yet I still get slapped ocassionally. Fun.

Ah well.

So.

The last nine months?

Entertaining, to say the least.

We've got stuff to look forward to.

London 06, California...eventually, Day Camp for the short term, and driving. Watching Koob grow up, and not just Koob, Erin and Katie (and Xan and AJ) too. And my permit, eventually.

The firsts I still haven't checked off. A first real kiss, a first boyfriend...are there others? Sure, more intense, more...sexual. Mature, if you'd like.

I don't.

Like them, I mean.

*grin*

What can I say? Summer brings asexuality, and at the same time, a strong feeling of want. Want love, hugs, cuddles.

Stop giving me that look.

*raises glass*

Here's to the next year.

Good luck.

I know I'll need it.

~Sor Ceress/Sorceress/Sorcyress/Sorcy/Sor.
~Katarina/Kat/Rin
~Vendetta/Zaphod Beeblebrox/Zaph
~Origami/Ori/Sorigami
~Whiskers/Meow-Meow/Kitty-Kat

MOOP!

(Edited for format and a few spelling)