(no subject)
Jun. 25th, 2020 01:38 am'sup y'all.
I continue to be in the space of "ah yes, my mental health and executive function actually vaguely exist, let us frantically get as much shit done as possible before they disappear again" which is honestly really depressing and frustrating and unenjoyable. Thanks brain! Can I at least appreciate the times when you are actually working, without you insisting on making me Feel Bad about them too?
So yeah, I'm getting things done. According to![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fenharel's Breakthrough Model of Mental Health, I'm currently in the lower-right quadrant1, but pretty damn close to the y-axis, so we're good.
The little schedule-thing I posted on Monday is going well, in terms of helping me keep track of things, sorta. I missed RSCDS today, and I did not do any minutes of filing, so today has been a wash, but I have done all my habitica dailies, and I fixed the water heater (very good adulting) and responded to landlord's email and did a fair chunk of Not At All Secret Photo Project, so that's all quite good!
And I went to bells tonight, where I rang a plain course of Cambridge and a touch of StedmanDoubs, and also got to ring Erin for the first time, which I picked up quickly because I've _finally_ started to internalize all five of the Stedman days of the week. (I've had Wednesday for a while, because it's the easiest, but I was actually paying attention to the others today and that paid off -- Erin is just MWF strung together).
I also rang my first digital quarter last week, by saying "oh yeah, I can totally ring quarters of Cambridge". This is an extremely lolwhat thing in retrospect because no I can't? But apparently I do know all of the Cambridge lines, and I do know that it's just plain bob calls, so there we go, combine accordingly. First in method, first in surprise. Absolutely does not count for lots of reasons, but the main two are a) digital isn't real bellringing, it's videogames and b) brain's haunted.
I have managed to eat "lunch" outside for three days straight, that's pretty good. Heavy quotes around lunch because the earliest has been at like three, and today was at like six, but fuck it, I am eating, and I'm eating some kind of actual meal-like instead of just a series of dumb and ill-thought snacks, so we're all good.
*shrugs* Yeah, I dunno what else. School year is over. Would love to know if I have a job, followed closely by would love to know what my job is, followed closely by would love to know how my job is gonna be.
I've been watching old Bakeshow episodes --I'm through the first series on Netflix and almost through the second, which I forgot has the "youngest baker this year" who I find incredibly grating. Not one word about the cognitive dissonance required to find her lack of self-confidence about baking annoying, but my lack of self-confidence about bellringing totally normal.
I've also been watching old MarbleLeague/Marblelympics seasons, in celebration of the new one! I actually watched the 2020 Opening Ceremonies on the day they came out, and my poor brain is very confused that I can't just run through the entire rest of the season!
(My beloved Limers did not even make it into the qualifiers for 2020, so like, how much can I *really* care, wait no, I care _so much_, I promise I care! I just also have an undying love for the worst team in the league, bless their little round hearts.)
(("why do you have a favourite marbl-" look, last time I got super into these, I actually went ahead and made a ranked list of every single team, from the Limers at the top straight on down to the unmitigated evil that is the Savage Speeders and I *will* be getting that list off my external hard drive sometime soon because it is very important to me to know who to root for in any circumstance.
Also, just watch a few episodes, I promise that halfway through a season you will inexplicably have a favourite marble team too.))
So that's my life. Tonight I am going to go to bed at two, which is like...1-2 hours early, despite my breezy "oh yes I've definitely been sleeping from 2-10 most days" claim. Good for me, I suppose? It's only because I've got a work meeting at 11, and I'd like to be properly showered and ready before that.
I hope you're doing well. Love and power.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: If I had said fourth quadrant, would that've been helpful to you or nah?
I continue to be in the space of "ah yes, my mental health and executive function actually vaguely exist, let us frantically get as much shit done as possible before they disappear again" which is honestly really depressing and frustrating and unenjoyable. Thanks brain! Can I at least appreciate the times when you are actually working, without you insisting on making me Feel Bad about them too?
So yeah, I'm getting things done. According to
fenharel's Breakthrough Model of Mental Health, I'm currently in the lower-right quadrant1, but pretty damn close to the y-axis, so we're good. The little schedule-thing I posted on Monday is going well, in terms of helping me keep track of things, sorta. I missed RSCDS today, and I did not do any minutes of filing, so today has been a wash, but I have done all my habitica dailies, and I fixed the water heater (very good adulting) and responded to landlord's email and did a fair chunk of Not At All Secret Photo Project, so that's all quite good!
And I went to bells tonight, where I rang a plain course of Cambridge and a touch of StedmanDoubs, and also got to ring Erin for the first time, which I picked up quickly because I've _finally_ started to internalize all five of the Stedman days of the week. (I've had Wednesday for a while, because it's the easiest, but I was actually paying attention to the others today and that paid off -- Erin is just MWF strung together).
I also rang my first digital quarter last week, by saying "oh yeah, I can totally ring quarters of Cambridge". This is an extremely lolwhat thing in retrospect because no I can't? But apparently I do know all of the Cambridge lines, and I do know that it's just plain bob calls, so there we go, combine accordingly. First in method, first in surprise. Absolutely does not count for lots of reasons, but the main two are a) digital isn't real bellringing, it's videogames and b) brain's haunted.
I have managed to eat "lunch" outside for three days straight, that's pretty good. Heavy quotes around lunch because the earliest has been at like three, and today was at like six, but fuck it, I am eating, and I'm eating some kind of actual meal-like instead of just a series of dumb and ill-thought snacks, so we're all good.
*shrugs* Yeah, I dunno what else. School year is over. Would love to know if I have a job, followed closely by would love to know what my job is, followed closely by would love to know how my job is gonna be.
I've been watching old Bakeshow episodes --I'm through the first series on Netflix and almost through the second, which I forgot has the "youngest baker this year" who I find incredibly grating. Not one word about the cognitive dissonance required to find her lack of self-confidence about baking annoying, but my lack of self-confidence about bellringing totally normal.
I've also been watching old MarbleLeague/Marblelympics seasons, in celebration of the new one! I actually watched the 2020 Opening Ceremonies on the day they came out, and my poor brain is very confused that I can't just run through the entire rest of the season!
(My beloved Limers did not even make it into the qualifiers for 2020, so like, how much can I *really* care, wait no, I care _so much_, I promise I care! I just also have an undying love for the worst team in the league, bless their little round hearts.)
(("why do you have a favourite marbl-" look, last time I got super into these, I actually went ahead and made a ranked list of every single team, from the Limers at the top straight on down to the unmitigated evil that is the Savage Speeders and I *will* be getting that list off my external hard drive sometime soon because it is very important to me to know who to root for in any circumstance.
Also, just watch a few episodes, I promise that halfway through a season you will inexplicably have a favourite marble team too.))
So that's my life. Tonight I am going to go to bed at two, which is like...1-2 hours early, despite my breezy "oh yes I've definitely been sleeping from 2-10 most days" claim. Good for me, I suppose? It's only because I've got a work meeting at 11, and I'd like to be properly showered and ready before that.
I hope you're doing well. Love and power.
~Sor
MOOP!
1: If I had said fourth quadrant, would that've been helpful to you or nah?