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Feb. 10th, 2011 02:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressTo preface this post, I reiterate that my livejournal is a dictatorship. I can delete or screen comments that piss me off1, I reserve the right to enact comment policies, and basically, it all boils down to "this is my space, and if you don't like it, take your toys, go somewhere else". As always, no one and nothing is forcing you to read this journal --you should, if you find me interesting and want to keep up with what's going on in my life-- but if I am too much supporting policies you hate, you are welcome to leave and never return.
(And if you do, can you leave a Highly Dramatic comment explaining why? That would be _awesome_. I've never had someone publicly flouce away before, just flame-wars and trolls and things that lead to me holding grudges for two years even after I've kinda-sorta gotten an apology and I think I should move forward on that shouldn't I oh hm.)
I emphatically dislike censorship.
There's a Mark Twain quote that runs something like "censorship is telling a grown man he can't have a steak because a baby can't chew it" which more or less sums up the entirety of my feelings on the matter. I don't like censorship, because I don't like the idea that *you* get to pick what media *I* want to engage in, and I certainly don't like censorship because children age at different rates and become adults at different rates, and I don't think you can have a blanket statement of "all children are too young for this thing right now, so none of them can even have the choice to access it.3"
In general, I would like the world to trust people --and that includes the under-eighteen sorts of people as well-- to be able to tell whether or not they would be interested in consuming some sort of media. Sometimes they will accidentally stumble across things they find uninteresting or horrifying (or too "adult", regardless of age), and I trust them to take better care to not do that again. As a producer of media, I think the best thing I can do for this is make more controversial information into a choice --click the cut if you want to read porn, leave a private comment if you want to be on the sexfilter, this link is NSFW-- that intelligent people can choose to take or not as they feel appropriate.
All that being said, I'm censoring some of the <31WPorns I've gotten this year (Which will probably get put online somewhere in the next week or so).
Go ahead, call me a hypocrite: __________
[Trigger warning, noncon and dubcon]
I'm doing it because the <31WP thing is meant to be fun. It's meant to be bubbly and happy and generally just a good time --a chance for people to be creative and sexy and silly. And mostly, it's meant to be something I can look back upon and reread and be happy and amused.
It's not something I want to make me uncomfortable. And it's really not something I want to make other people uncomfortable. "Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay" is all well and good, but when it slips from being something I'm merely not into to something that explicitly turns me off or worse, I no longer want it in my space.
Look, a lot of porn involves situations of dubious consent, I know that. The whole "oh the innocent virgin found herself seduced and really enjoyed it", things with voyeurism and exhibitionism and just...lots of kinda skeptical situations in general. I've posted some of them and I've enjoyed some of them --in general, as long as it seems to be set in that sort of good-faith porn-world where it's totally reasonable to "tip the pizza guy" and everyone's into happy fun yay sextimes, I'm okay with it.
But this year, I've gotten some darker entries. Like, clearly non-consensual, clearly with one character unhappy, uncomfortable, afraid. And I really don't like rape. I don't like rapeplay, I don't like consensual noncon, I don't like straight out rape fantasies, from either perspective. I don't read dubcon porn, and I generally4 won't read noncon porn. When I want porn, I want my characters to be happy and sexy and cheerful. I don't want one of them afraid.
Moreover, noncon can set off serious triggers, leaving someone thrown off and uncomfortable. I simply don't want anything I post --be it my words or another's-- to do that to someone. That's why I try to remember my trigger warnings and let people know when I'm gonna be talking about traumatic stuff.
Some of the porn I get is not happy. It's not fun. It's scary and alarming, and that goes against what I am trying to do here. So when I make the post of all the porns, I'm going to leave out the ones that make me shudder more than they make me smile. And what I'll probably do is put all the censored ones into a file that you can e-mail me and ask for if you really want them (or hell, see if I know someone or somewhere who is willing to host them so I can have a clearly marked and warned link, such to make it easier for me). No judging if you do want to read them --if that's what turns you on, great, just don't ask to playact it with me-- but I'm not going to mix them in with the rest of the porn. [/trigger warning]
I hate censorship. But it's my journal, and I'm not going to post things that make me uncomfortable.
(And on a related aside, I am sure as _hell_ not going to post anything in which the word "faggot" is used. If you're clearly making an effort for it to be a positive and reclaimed5 word, maybe, but when it's definitely a slur? That is hate language, and means we're done.)
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Not at all often --twice in the last year. Once with a comment left specifically saying "I'm screening this, please don't talk about that filter2 in a public space", and once because I don't like hearing "I told you so", and I see no reason why I should keep that sort of immaturity on my page. Helpful hint! If the general tone of the post seems to be tired or upset or weary or anything other than amused and jubilant, it probably means I'm not in a mood to put up with that shit right now.
2: Amusingly, the filter in question doesn't exist. But if it did, it would be strictly "don't talk about this filter in a public space."
3: And sure, some things should probably be put farther out of reach than others --I agree with the abstract concept of R rated films and the like, and I don't think any eight year old should be viewing hardcore pornography. But anything you're horrified of your child consuming, they are eventually going to consume. Children are resourceful, and clever, and have access to the internet now --at home and at school-- and have friends and cell phones and Netflix and Hulu. If they really want something, they will find a way to consume it.
And if you regularly talk to them about what they're consuming and misconceptions and the like, and don't keep things from them, they'll probably be willing to keep talking about what they're up to. No guarantees, but give children --especially teenagers-- a little more credit, and actually try and respect their opinion on things.
4: The difference comes from how the story is framed (which is not, I think, something that can be done in 30 words or less) --Very rarely, I will enjoy a story, or discussing a hypothetical, in which there is a Clearly Evil character who is doing Clearly Evil things, including sexual assault. Because the character is intended to be evil from the get-go, and the whole narrative is designed around "this is bad, don't ever do it" I can sometimes see the appeal.
5: And if you are a person who can reclaim said word.
(And if you do, can you leave a Highly Dramatic comment explaining why? That would be _awesome_. I've never had someone publicly flouce away before, just flame-wars and trolls and things that lead to me holding grudges for two years even after I've kinda-sorta gotten an apology and I think I should move forward on that shouldn't I oh hm.)
I emphatically dislike censorship.
There's a Mark Twain quote that runs something like "censorship is telling a grown man he can't have a steak because a baby can't chew it" which more or less sums up the entirety of my feelings on the matter. I don't like censorship, because I don't like the idea that *you* get to pick what media *I* want to engage in, and I certainly don't like censorship because children age at different rates and become adults at different rates, and I don't think you can have a blanket statement of "all children are too young for this thing right now, so none of them can even have the choice to access it.3"
In general, I would like the world to trust people --and that includes the under-eighteen sorts of people as well-- to be able to tell whether or not they would be interested in consuming some sort of media. Sometimes they will accidentally stumble across things they find uninteresting or horrifying (or too "adult", regardless of age), and I trust them to take better care to not do that again. As a producer of media, I think the best thing I can do for this is make more controversial information into a choice --click the cut if you want to read porn, leave a private comment if you want to be on the sexfilter, this link is NSFW-- that intelligent people can choose to take or not as they feel appropriate.
All that being said, I'm censoring some of the <31WPorns I've gotten this year (Which will probably get put online somewhere in the next week or so).
Go ahead, call me a hypocrite: __________
[Trigger warning, noncon and dubcon]
I'm doing it because the <31WP thing is meant to be fun. It's meant to be bubbly and happy and generally just a good time --a chance for people to be creative and sexy and silly. And mostly, it's meant to be something I can look back upon and reread and be happy and amused.
It's not something I want to make me uncomfortable. And it's really not something I want to make other people uncomfortable. "Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay" is all well and good, but when it slips from being something I'm merely not into to something that explicitly turns me off or worse, I no longer want it in my space.
Look, a lot of porn involves situations of dubious consent, I know that. The whole "oh the innocent virgin found herself seduced and really enjoyed it", things with voyeurism and exhibitionism and just...lots of kinda skeptical situations in general. I've posted some of them and I've enjoyed some of them --in general, as long as it seems to be set in that sort of good-faith porn-world where it's totally reasonable to "tip the pizza guy" and everyone's into happy fun yay sextimes, I'm okay with it.
But this year, I've gotten some darker entries. Like, clearly non-consensual, clearly with one character unhappy, uncomfortable, afraid. And I really don't like rape. I don't like rapeplay, I don't like consensual noncon, I don't like straight out rape fantasies, from either perspective. I don't read dubcon porn, and I generally4 won't read noncon porn. When I want porn, I want my characters to be happy and sexy and cheerful. I don't want one of them afraid.
Moreover, noncon can set off serious triggers, leaving someone thrown off and uncomfortable. I simply don't want anything I post --be it my words or another's-- to do that to someone. That's why I try to remember my trigger warnings and let people know when I'm gonna be talking about traumatic stuff.
Some of the porn I get is not happy. It's not fun. It's scary and alarming, and that goes against what I am trying to do here. So when I make the post of all the porns, I'm going to leave out the ones that make me shudder more than they make me smile. And what I'll probably do is put all the censored ones into a file that you can e-mail me and ask for if you really want them (or hell, see if I know someone or somewhere who is willing to host them so I can have a clearly marked and warned link, such to make it easier for me). No judging if you do want to read them --if that's what turns you on, great, just don't ask to playact it with me-- but I'm not going to mix them in with the rest of the porn. [/trigger warning]
I hate censorship. But it's my journal, and I'm not going to post things that make me uncomfortable.
(And on a related aside, I am sure as _hell_ not going to post anything in which the word "faggot" is used. If you're clearly making an effort for it to be a positive and reclaimed5 word, maybe, but when it's definitely a slur? That is hate language, and means we're done.)
~Sor
MOOP!
1: Not at all often --twice in the last year. Once with a comment left specifically saying "I'm screening this, please don't talk about that filter2 in a public space", and once because I don't like hearing "I told you so", and I see no reason why I should keep that sort of immaturity on my page. Helpful hint! If the general tone of the post seems to be tired or upset or weary or anything other than amused and jubilant, it probably means I'm not in a mood to put up with that shit right now.
2: Amusingly, the filter in question doesn't exist. But if it did, it would be strictly "don't talk about this filter in a public space."
3: And sure, some things should probably be put farther out of reach than others --I agree with the abstract concept of R rated films and the like, and I don't think any eight year old should be viewing hardcore pornography. But anything you're horrified of your child consuming, they are eventually going to consume. Children are resourceful, and clever, and have access to the internet now --at home and at school-- and have friends and cell phones and Netflix and Hulu. If they really want something, they will find a way to consume it.
And if you regularly talk to them about what they're consuming and misconceptions and the like, and don't keep things from them, they'll probably be willing to keep talking about what they're up to. No guarantees, but give children --especially teenagers-- a little more credit, and actually try and respect their opinion on things.
4: The difference comes from how the story is framed (which is not, I think, something that can be done in 30 words or less) --Very rarely, I will enjoy a story, or discussing a hypothetical, in which there is a Clearly Evil character who is doing Clearly Evil things, including sexual assault. Because the character is intended to be evil from the get-go, and the whole narrative is designed around "this is bad, don't ever do it" I can sometimes see the appeal.
5: And if you are a person who can reclaim said word.