MOOP!

So yesterday I set for myself a couple of rules:

1) Can't play video games for more than an hour straight.

2) Any amount of time playing video games needs to be followed by an equal amount of time with no electronics.

2a) If I don't make that time up before bedtime, it costs double and I'm not allowed to play more video games the next day until I've paid it off.

Obviously there's a lot going on with my brain that would lead to the implementation of these sorts of rules --I've been having a bad run of weeks. It's my usual end of year burnout, plus pandemic stress, plus future stress, plus holy shit, dear cops, stop killing black people, why is this controversial? So I haven't been doing 'enough' and yeah, on the one hand, it is a radical act to rest in a capitalist society where your worth is measured by productivity, but on the other hand...

Insert that comic¹ from tumblr about looking back and realizing that all the ~self-care~ shit you were doing like ~pampering yourself by staying in bed all day~ was actually just depressive symptoms and the actual hard work of sleeping on a schedule, eating enough, and going outside was the good shit.

So I'ma claw myself out of here, and one way to start that is to pick _one_ thing to metaphorically punch in the face until it's less of a problem. I keep staying up too late playing dumb video games (not even Animal Crossing, I'm talking mindless flash games ad infinitum here) so let's put some moderation rules around how much video games I can take in.

When we talk alignment charts, I'm never totally sure where to put myself. I mean, obvs I strive for Good, I'm pretty comfortable with that half of it. But the whole Lawful/Chaotic thing...

...like, I'm more Lawful than you probably realize, for a curious explorer who never met a "no trespassing² sign they didn't want to ignore and thinks that punching nazis is great. I trend toward *lolrandom* humour and can't keep still and am increasingly fond of pranks³ but damn, I can keep people's lives Interesting while still following a million tiny rituals and rules. See also that I've never broken the alcohol laws⁵, for instance.

So I am hoping that I can use that to follow these rules, at least for a little while. I don't think they'll work forever --immutable law is one thing, but ADHD and frustration is another. And then I'm hoping that if I fix this one aspect, I will be able to expand and fix more. If nothing else, it would be _really really good_ for me to spend less time actively on electronics.

I hope you're doing well, and you're figuring out how to manage your brain with Everything That's Going On. I love you.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: No seriously, if anyone recognizes the comic I'm talking about, I'd love to have a link, my reference powers are failing me. I think the characters were a fox and snake, and I think it was the artist a couple years later responding to their earlier comic?

2: ...with the exception of "because asbestos". That was a pretty effective sign.

3: You know, non-shitty pranks. Like covering camp with tiny eels in the service of menacing the friend who had been bit by an eel a year prior and has the opposite-of-trauma⁴ about it. It's very weird that I have gotten into pranks in my thirties, but fuck it, so far I'm doing pretty well at not hurting anyone with them, and just making the world a little more delightfully surreal.

4: Is there a word for this? Like, an event that could've been traumatic, but you survived and now it's a Really Cool Story? Anyways, in this friend's case, she has gotten a tattoo of an eel right above where she was bit, because she is absolutely delighted to have this tale!

5: Not the whole "don't drink under 21", that one's bullshit. But I am not allowed to drink around groups of college-aged people, I am not allowed to drink alone, I am not allowed to drink around [groups of?] coworkers, I am not allowed to drink if I have said or thought "god I need a drink".