MOOP!

My guardian bitch is laughing at me.

Not just laughing, but uproariously, practically falling over to do so. Apparently she thinks it's "funny" that I nearly walked into a signpost on the way to maths class. Largely because she firmly maintains it's because I was busy staring at Ryan.

I firmly maintain that I was *not* staring at Ryan when I nearly walked into the signpost, I was just *thinking* about Ryan, and about how sharp dressed he was today, and how good his vest looked with his slim figure and shoulder length hair, and how great it was that he waved at me, and gave me that utterly utterly charming grin, all soft and roguish and...um...what were discussing? Oh! Oh, that I was not *staring!* I had stared plenty by the time I reached the sign post.

At any rate, as discussed the other day, I can sometimes be derailed by how attractive someone is. More interestingly, however, is my sense of boydar --the ability to know precisely where in a room one of less than a half dozen people in the world is, simply because they are just that breathtakingly attractive.

Magus is the clearest example. From the moment I remet¹ him (and possibly even earlier) I've always been able to pinpoint exactly which set he's dancing in, or where in the room he's playing games. It's a little bit stalkery, sure, but that mixture of attraction and want just naturally draws my eyes. It happens to a certain extent with all the boys I love, but something about Magus amplifies it to be in full force.

Ryan is one of the two other people I've identified it happening with. The other is a boy that could be Ryan's good twin (Ryan has a goatee), my con-friend Aaron. The two of them more or less define the absolute of "tropes Sorcy Finds Attractive", with their hair and their skinny and their smiles. And while I haven't interacted enough with Ryan to know what his touch feels like, Aaron at least is one of those people with whom every physical interaction feels completely Right. It's not about the sex, it's about the feeling of Family and Love and perfection.

So yes. Boys are distracting, and all, but certain boys are more than just distracting. They're tracked, through a crowd, as subtly as I can manage it. Because something about them means that I just need to know where they are.

~Sor
MOOP!
(4/12)

1: Magus and I's relationship goes as follows: Origins 2004, meet. Talk for a while on IM. Eventually lose track of each other. Balticon 2006 remeet. Talk for the rest of time on IM. December 2007 have the "let's just be friends" talk. January 2008 start dating. Hoorah!