[therapyblatant] Rules.
Feb. 25th, 2014 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sorcyressMild trigger warning, cranky mumbling about past abusers.
Rule: My new computer, my beautiful silver new baby, named for a woman who rides horses and swings swords and fights twice as hard to be taken half as seriously, my lovely lovely little laptop, is never going to be navigated to my rapist's livejournal.
Because I've been doing that for seven fucking years, just checking in quietly and subtly every few months, because...all sorts of reasons, I don't know. It's not like they ever update it.
But I am fucking sick that a two letter keystroke on Vera will bring up their url, and I don't ever want to poison Kela like that. So I have this rule now (and I've had this rule, and this isn't the first time I've brought it up, but it's the closest I've come and I hate hate hate that six years after we were done parts of them still have that power over me.)
It's so fucking stupid and laughable and damn near cliche, but if you don't think the ending of Labyrinth isn't powerful as shit, you've never watched me whisper Sarah's monologue. It's not always the right words for the job, but every once in a while...yeah. For my will is as strong as yours (stronger) and my kingdom as great (greater, for I haven't destroyed it like you have your own.) You have no goddamn power over me.
Or my beautiful little electronic love.
~Sor
MOOP!
Rule: My new computer, my beautiful silver new baby, named for a woman who rides horses and swings swords and fights twice as hard to be taken half as seriously, my lovely lovely little laptop, is never going to be navigated to my rapist's livejournal.
Because I've been doing that for seven fucking years, just checking in quietly and subtly every few months, because...all sorts of reasons, I don't know. It's not like they ever update it.
But I am fucking sick that a two letter keystroke on Vera will bring up their url, and I don't ever want to poison Kela like that. So I have this rule now (and I've had this rule, and this isn't the first time I've brought it up, but it's the closest I've come and I hate hate hate that six years after we were done parts of them still have that power over me.)
It's so fucking stupid and laughable and damn near cliche, but if you don't think the ending of Labyrinth isn't powerful as shit, you've never watched me whisper Sarah's monologue. It's not always the right words for the job, but every once in a while...yeah. For my will is as strong as yours (stronger) and my kingdom as great (greater, for I haven't destroyed it like you have your own.) You have no goddamn power over me.
Or my beautiful little electronic love.
~Sor
MOOP!
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no subject
on 2014-02-26 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-02-26 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
on 2014-02-26 03:47 am (UTC)That being said, I consciously talk about my rapist publicly, because my ability to be public about my life in my public spaces is more important to me than their comfort, *and* because I make a concentrated effort not to name or gender them. Is it possible for someone dedicated to figure out who they are? Absolutely. Do I care about that risk to their well-being or emotional health? no more than they cared about mine for the three years they destroyed my mind. If that makes me an asshole, I wear it with pride.
(Seriously though, and without sarcasm, thank you for the alert.)
~Sor
ETA: Oh, and if you were wondering why it's tagged "therapyfilter" when it's not filtered, because that's just my go-to tag for writing about this shit --behind and before filters.
no subject
on 2014-02-26 04:07 am (UTC)I've run across enough posts (usually by friends) who meant to filter things, or make them access-list-only, and forgot that it seemed best to notify you in case that had happened here.
no subject
on 2014-02-26 02:12 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2014-02-26 03:19 am (UTC)