MOOP!

*clears throat*

WARNING! This entry contains porn of a hardcore and softcore nature! Read at your own risk!

I think that's the way I do it, anyways. It's been a while.

First the data, because I am into data! Oh boy, am I into data. Unf, unf, etc.

New Porms: 15 from 2015. 31 from 2019!!! Y'ALL MAKE MY HEART SING THANK YOU!
New Fandoms: She-Ra! Microsoft, Harry Potter, chess(board game)
New Poetic Forms: Spot the Iambic Pentameter! And another couplet!
New Languages: Have I had Latin before? It's been a while, I genuinely don't remember! Quick, someone build me a searchable database of all the porms with serious tagging so I can sort out things like this.
Other Milestones:
*I got a porm with a soundtrack! That's pretty cool and has never happened before! Look for the linked song.

*Not a single one of you fuckers posted anonymously which is like...I dunno, weirdly cool? I feel trusted, I suppose! And like a facilitator of good times and sexy feelings, which okay, the whole service thing I was posting about last night? It's not _only_ non-sexual.

*In between the last time I ran the event and this time, I was gifted a single-page chapbook with fifteen examples of <31wp. It was from a friend I've known literally my entire life, who said they felt uncomfortable posting to my page (because I'm just a kid, yanno?) but was inspired nonetheless. I don't remember if I've ever shared this fact, but it's one of the things I am most proud of having inspired. (I did not bother to transcribe them here, mostly because I'm not positive I could quickly lay hands on the book and I have other things to do tonight than get caught in the trap that is my filing cabinet.)

To quote Andy Weir¹, I, like many webcomic artists, humbly hope that my art moves someone, somewhere, to masturbate. Thank you.

( Enjoy! Please feel free to leave comments squeeing about your favourites --show the artists some love! Possibly lots of love *waggles eyebrows* )

That's all folks!

I started this exercise as one hundred percent a joke. I mean, literally, the first porn written for this was 29 words of bullshit in the middle of a group chat. It was a RPF referencing a Something*Positive comic. It was not good. I want to be very clear that it was in absolutely no way the sort of work of art that should have spawned something like this.

It has spawned over 400² short works of fiction. Funny, sensual, heart-catching, sympathetic, charming, and yes, sexy as all hell fiction.

I...some of you have asked me, in some form or another, how you can help. This is how you can help. By bringing creativity into the world and a smile to my face. By making things, even when the things you make are short and silly and sexy. By being genuine and excitable and telling your friends and sharing your ideas.

Thank you so much to everyone who wrote, to everyone who reads, and to everyone who serves as a muse. The pornpocaylpse is real, and scary. Thank you so much for pushing back.

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Yes, the srs bsns science fiction author responsible for The Martian. I'm probably due a reread of Casey and Andy sometime.

2: My official file of posted porms says this year's entry makes 407. The actual number is maybe as many as a dozen higher, but I don't remember where the file of "not actually posted" porms got to.

AWRIGHT ALREADY! You hear there may be cold and gloomy weather coming back again? Well step right up, and get yerself cozy for something that'll warm the cockles of your...heart. I speak, of course, of the grand and glorious Less Than 31 Word Porn Entries, 2014!

(Yes, it's like two weeks later than they should be. Shut up!)

So. Beneath the cut, ( this entry contains porn of a hardcore and softcore nature. Read at your own risk! )

Number of Porns: 32 (was 26 until I realized there were 4 more on Dreamwidth and two more from last year. Yay!). Y'all are gradually falling down on the job, and I don't know how to fix it. I guess Tumblr isn't too ill-suited --you could all anon-submit to me pretty easily over there. But damnit livejournal. Stop dying.
New Languages: Igpay Atinlay, Toki Pona, Esperanto, and yes, Dogespeak.
New Fandoms: James Bond!
New Poetry: Nothing new, but another quatrain and another haiku.
Still awesome: Still awesome.

One thing I've never talked about is how I randomize them. I always do, as one more layer of protection --I toss them all in a (roughly chronological) file, and then sit there with a d20 and hop my way through the list. Sometimes I do a little bit of work to randomize the starting point, and I will occasionally bend bits and pieces so certain ones are in a proper order, but overall, it's just a very soothing process.

As always, please leave comments telling the authors that they rock and they've written things
that made you smile, horny, pleased.

And thank you all for participating. Reading, writing, sharing, anything.

~Sor
MOOP!

Hear ye, hear ye! I, Sor Kyress, being of horny body and strange mind, do observe the date of this day to be the third day of February, in the year 2013. That means it's time to run my favourite feature of this livejournal: The Sixth Annual <31 Word Porn Competition!

(Not actually a competition.)

In case you are new, the way it works is this: The comments to this entry are screened. You write me porn, or smut, or erotica, or cheesy romance, or whatever suits your fancy. I keep it hidden for a few weeks, and then near the end of the month, I make a post with a WHOLE BUNCHA DIRTY STORIES! Everyone reads them and rejoices!

What are the rules of the contest? There is but one formal rule: Less than 31 words! Thirty is fine. Twenty-nine is fine. Thirty-one? RIGHT OUT. Keep it short!

There are some unstated rules that sorta boil down to "I claim editorial duty over these stories, and if you write something that I find really triggering or non-consensual or dubious-consensual or gross or otherwise not something I'm willing to post public, I won't." If you object to this, host your own damn porn-writing contest.

If you need inspiration, you can browse the LessThan31Words tag on my livejournal, or just jump straight to a previous year's entries (2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008.)

Now get writing, mein lieblings!

~Sor
MOOP!

I am a pretty shiftless child, one who often starts projects and then gets distracted and never finishes.

However, this project is somewhat important to me, and so somehow I've managed to keep it going every February since I turned eighteen. It's something that makes me happy, and something that makes other people happy. It prompts long essays on censorship, on child-rearing, on the rights of the editor.

...and most importantly, it brings a lot of porn into the world. That's right folks! It's time for the Fifth Annual Less Than 31 Word Porn Writing Contest!

How does this work? You write porn. You make sure it's, at most, thirty words long. You post it in a comment to this post, or you e-mail it to me, or you drop it in my ask-box on tumblr, or whatever. In a few weeks, I collect them all, scramble them, and post them for all the world to enjoy. And it is awesome. You can get a pretty good feel by reading the tag "Lessthan31words".

The porn you submit may be anonymous. It may be fanfic. It may be silly. It may be sexy. It may be written in languages I don't speak (so far: Spanish, Russian, and Japanese.) It may be simple. It may be elaborate. It may be story based. It may be PWP. It may be kinky. It may be *really* kinky. It may be loving. It may be missionary between married people with the lights off. The only rule is that it must be short, at most thirty words. Thirty-one is too many, and thirty-two is right out.

(Okay, because it's my journal and I have feelings about this sort of thing, you are welcome to write noncon or dubcon porn, or otherwise significantly triggering. I am not likely to post it, or if I do, I will post it in an alternate space, clearly marked. This is because I want my porn to be light, fluffy, and happy. And so do a grand number of friends who have had bad experiences. If the fact that I won't post everything pisses you off, go host your own damn porn-writing contest.)

All I want is for you to enjoy writing it, and in a few weeks, for everyone to enjoy reading it. Go forth, my friends, and create!

~Sor
MOOP!

(Need inspiration? The previous years entries: 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008.)

HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT!
IT'S FEBRUARY THIRD!
If that date means nothing to you, it's probably because you're new to this journal, or because you have forgotten what happens every year on February third (or at least, every year since I turned eighteen.

That's right!

It's time for the Annual Less than 31 Words Porn Writing Contest!

This was inspired by a bizarre conversation with mek, in which I wrote the greatest porn ever, and all in less than thirty-one words. The way it works is this: You write porn. I write porn. Everyone writes porn. It can be funny porn, erotic porn, bizarre porn, hot porn, silly porn, kinky porn, missionary-style-with-the-lights-out porn, limerick porn, meta porn, english porn, foreign language porn², fanfic porn, whatever you want to write.

The only restriction is that the porn must be, at most, thirty words. This is why it is called the less than thirty-one words contest, after all.

Then you take the porn, and you leave it in a comment to this post¹, or several comments to this post. You can leave it anonymous, if you want. All the comments will be screened, and I will never reveal what sorts of naughty things you wrote.

Then, in a couple of weeks --definitely before the end of February-- I will compile all the porns I have received into a randomly sorted list, and post it up for the world to enjoy. People will leave comments extolling the virtues of their favourites, and everyone will get to feel all warm and fuzzy about all the lovely words.

If you need examples or inspiration, here are the previous years selections:
2008
2009
2010

Go wild, my darlinks, and write me something *fantastic*!

~Sor
MOOP!

1: Or you e-mail it to me, or IM it to me. Whatever works for you!
2: You lose points for using google translate though. Foreign language porn is best when written by people who actually speak that language.

ETA: Of course I trust you lot. But I like having independent confirmation from people other than the submitters, just in case. So, already, is there anyone out there who can translate Spanish and/or Japanese to make sure I know what's being said?

ETA2: Feel free to crosspost, to share, to link! It leads to more porn for everyone, and that's just excellent!

Yes, yes, I know I promised Saturday. I got distracted.

But for all my lovely perverts out there, have some delicious ( porn! Do not click this link if you object to such. )

You people are pretty much my favourite people ever, just so you know. Enjoy!

Blah blah, this entry not safe for work or children, blah blah.

~Sor
MOOP!

So, while rifling through notes or notebooks or whatever, I found a list from my eleventh grade composition class --a list of words, originally intended for a spelling bee. I had found the most of them by picking random pages from a dictionary and picking random words.

But not just random words. A lot of them were picked for interesting definitions, or being hard to spell. But a few glorious ones...those were clearly picked because they were that glorious concept I call WordPorn --words that you just want to wrap your tongue around as you say, want to hear again and again, just because the very word itself is oh so perfect.

I took a moment to consolidate them into my proper wordporn list. For a moment, ignore definitions, ignore associations. Pick a word, roll it off your tongue, and appreciate it for the beauty and the poetry of the letters themselves.

( Porn porn porn, for all that no censor would blink twice at most of these words )

So, what words just send a shiver down YOUR spine?

~Sor
MOOP!

So, I do believe that I promised you some ( porn )

*************

Now, you may notice that I haven't bothered to do the magical flagging thing. It is perfectly allowable that one of you attempt to flag this entry, because heaven knows it does deal with adult concepts and shouldn't be read my minors, bla bla bla.

I myself did not, because censorship is one of those things that seriously pisses me off. I agree that there may be things in general that minors should not read, however, I acknowledge that minors are going to find those things and read them anyways.

The real trick is to have people who care around to answer questions and to help morally guide said minors. Alto, they need to emphasize that there is a difference between legal adults engaging in morally questionable practises behind their own doors, where, if something goes wrong, they have the money and world experience to fix it, and illegal kids engaging in the same behaviors, where if something goes wrong, they're (no pun intended) screwed. (Seriously, children should not raise children. I don't know much about the mental aftereffects of getting an abortion, but I've been led to believe that it will definently fuck you up some. Minors should not have* to deal with any of that.)

So, in short, I'm not censoring this. I'd *rather* my little sister didn't read the <31WP's, but if she does, there's not a lot I can do other than remind her not to have sex, and if she does, to be safe about it. And I'm certainly not saying you should go out and show this to minors immediately. But really, if a minor wants to read this, they will --it's laughably easy to change your birthyear on elljay, so even if it was flagged adult, the hypothetical minors reading my journal could just claim to be another few years older, and read it anyways.

(Plus, I have at least two or three people who read my elljay anonymously. I'd rather not cut them out.)

Damn, I got all serious in the middle there. o.O Uhm...yay porn?

~Sor
MOOP!

*They shouldn't have to, but sometimes, it's the better choice.

So, last Tuesday I had an emo attack of the *worst* sort, which led to me curled up on the floor crying and holding my boxcutter. Not cutting myself, not cutting anything else (although I was tempted to butcher my jeans just as an outlet) just playing with it. Eventually, my brain kicked in and went all "hurr, you're a writer, why don't you write on yourself instead of not-cut yourself. Doesn't hurt anyone!"

So...I did. I wrote an exceptionally emo poem called "Litany of Hate" using myself as the canvas. I wrote it mostly on my arms and legs, and have done my best to reproduce the not COMPLETELY behind the walls bits here:

( Said poem. An unhealthy combination of emo and 'Why Sorcy is effed up' version point whatever beneath the cut. Own risk, blabla )

So! Results.

( In which Sorcy does manage to metadiscuss the above poem and some of the ramifications it had on her, but also spends quite a bit of time digressing about movies, being distractable, and plotting lesbian biblophiliac porn. )

Logically, I think the next thing to do would be an analysis of the poem itself, but I'm bored of writing this, and will do so later. (Later here having a meaning of broken'never'. [/scruffy!Norrington]) I'm off to go scrawl down random things in the writersjournal about bits of world that I have been building since sixth grade. Ta!

~Sor
MOOP!

(((Apropos of nothing, I appear to have coined a new term in the dictionary of useful Kat-stuffs. Before the Walls. It's the general equivilant of things that are behind the walls, except that you lot get to read it.)))

Postscript: My English class is rubbing off on me. I actually went back and fixed the text of the second cut so that it had proper parrallelism. On a side note, what does ETA mean? I got that it's some sort of "I edited this" shorthand, but I don't actually know the rest.